Monday, March 28, 2011
Five...
more days. 5. FIVE. :) I cannot wait to leave this weekend!! I get to see Zach for the first time since November. Gosh, I miss him. Only 38 more days, and I get to be with him EVERY DAY. Ahhh. :) This is going to be a super crazy busy week, but that is okay with me. :) I move back in with my parents on Friday, Saturday I have to pack and what not and then Sunday I leave! I have to cram in a TON of homework this week, too. Hopefully I can get everything done. If not, I'll be staying up way late on Friday night. And napping Saturday hopefully. :) Love you all. I'll try to post a little when I'm in Florida for the week. <3
Monday, March 7, 2011
26 days...
26 more days and my waiting is over.
I cannot begin to express how delightfully wonderful it is to see the numbers on my countdown decreasing every day. I have been apart from Zach for 468 days now and for some reason, 26 days still feels like a lifetime away.
Last night I went to Buffalo Wild Wings to see a friend and to say goodbye before he left on a deployment. I sat there around a bunch of guys and for some reason, all I could think about was this: what would my life be like right now if we had ended up with different people? Sometimes I wish that Zach was a little bit more of a romantic and that he would say sweet things to me more often, but the fact of the matter is that I couldn't ask for a better guy. He treats me like a princess and is always thinking of me first. How could I ever ask for more than that? Sure, he may not always know the right thing to say that sweeps me off of my feet, but he is always here for me. And I think that means more to me than him being a hopeless romantic.
26 more days and I will have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally. I am so excited to be able to spend my life with such an amazing guy. Even though it feels like March is taking forever, there's a lot of fun stuff going on for the rest of the month. This weekend I am going out with the other two members of our Neapolitan gang and some of our other friends for a "Rachel won't be single much longer" celebration. Then, next Saturday I will be with the Neapolitan's yet again for a shopping spree. I'm hoping to find a couple more cute dresses for all of my important upcoming events and some new jeans. I need them desperately. Then the next weekend my sister and bestie are throwing me a bachelorette party.....and then...(drum roll pleaseeee)...It's time for me to leave! :)
I shouldn't wish the time away...because I'm sure someday I'm going to miss this time. I am going to miss my family and friends terribly. And I'm sure in the future I'm going to wish for our young newlywed days back again, too. But I can't help but wish the time away because I miss Zach so desperately. And I think a really good Trace Adkins song should go with this.
You're Gonna Miss This
By: Trace Adkins
She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down
'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this
I cannot begin to express how delightfully wonderful it is to see the numbers on my countdown decreasing every day. I have been apart from Zach for 468 days now and for some reason, 26 days still feels like a lifetime away.
Last night I went to Buffalo Wild Wings to see a friend and to say goodbye before he left on a deployment. I sat there around a bunch of guys and for some reason, all I could think about was this: what would my life be like right now if we had ended up with different people? Sometimes I wish that Zach was a little bit more of a romantic and that he would say sweet things to me more often, but the fact of the matter is that I couldn't ask for a better guy. He treats me like a princess and is always thinking of me first. How could I ever ask for more than that? Sure, he may not always know the right thing to say that sweeps me off of my feet, but he is always here for me. And I think that means more to me than him being a hopeless romantic.
26 more days and I will have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally. I am so excited to be able to spend my life with such an amazing guy. Even though it feels like March is taking forever, there's a lot of fun stuff going on for the rest of the month. This weekend I am going out with the other two members of our Neapolitan gang and some of our other friends for a "Rachel won't be single much longer" celebration. Then, next Saturday I will be with the Neapolitan's yet again for a shopping spree. I'm hoping to find a couple more cute dresses for all of my important upcoming events and some new jeans. I need them desperately. Then the next weekend my sister and bestie are throwing me a bachelorette party.....and then...(drum roll pleaseeee)...It's time for me to leave! :)
I shouldn't wish the time away...because I'm sure someday I'm going to miss this time. I am going to miss my family and friends terribly. And I'm sure in the future I'm going to wish for our young newlywed days back again, too. But I can't help but wish the time away because I miss Zach so desperately. And I think a really good Trace Adkins song should go with this.
You're Gonna Miss This
By: Trace Adkins
She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down
'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I am tired...
...of doing things in a way to please everyone else.
For the most part, I feel like I am a very laid back person. I tend to go with the flow and take others opinions into consideration. Today, I am tired of being this way.
Since November 23rd of 2009, I have done what has been asked of me. I have waited patiently, supported, encouraged and embraced the life changing decision that my fiance made. Since November 23rd of 2009, I have spent exactly 35 days of my life with him. Trying to build a life with him through 900 miles and nothing but phone calls night after night. I have encouraged when I wanted to scream, been the strong one when I wanted to cry, pushed forward when I have wanted to give up. I have done what the Air Force has expected me to as the role of a significant other, I have done what I know Zach has wanted me to because of the commitment we have made to each other. I have done what school has asked of me, spending more time on homework than I ever wanted to; I have done what work has asked of me, working with selfish and ignorant individuals, when most of the time I wanted to tell them all they don't know how blessed they are with what they have been given.
I am a mere 44 days from flying to Florida and marrying the one person that I love most in this world. I am 77 days away from packing up my life and moving it 900 miles away from the family and friends I have known my entire life. I am happy with the choices I have made, the paths I have taken, and the opportunities I have passed up. I am so close to finally being with Zach again and I feel like no one is happy for us. No one. Even though I am sure that no one it pertains to will read this, I'm going to address some things I want to anyway.
To those who think we're too young: I have spent my life watching my parents marriage. It has been happy, fun and goofy. It has also been frustrating, irritating, and tough. It has been what most people would call marriage. If you think that we're getting married, expecting every day to be skipping through a meadow full of daisies, you're wrong. There are going to be times where I want to punch him, cry with him, yell at him, and love him. It is going to be messy and difficult and we are going to disagree on a LOT of things. He is going to be unromantic and inconsiderate at times. I am going to be depressing, lazy and downright bitchy at moments. We know this. We know that its not going to be easy; we aren't expecting it to be. And yes, I know half of you are saying in your head 'You don't know exactly how difficult it is going to be and you don't know all of the challenges you will face'. You're absolutely right. But that is the beautiful part. We have picked each other to experience those things with....to go through the tough times with, to cry with, to laugh with, and to love. To those who say "Why not wait a couple more years?" My answer is this: I am done with school. I have waited a year and half already. The time that we have missed, we don't get back. I don't want to waste any more of our time together waiting. Contrary to what most people think, we may not have forever. You never know.
To those who think that I am 'not good enough': I am 21 years old. I have a great career, and will have an awesome degree in 77 days. I am a hard worker. I am good with my finances and smart with my decisions. I have had guidance my whole life from 2 people who I would consider very successful. I don't sleep around, don't have any diseases. I like to have a drink now and then, but I am NOT a party-er. I tend to be lazy sometimes and sometimes I swear more than I should. I could stand to lose 30 pounds and I'm not as girly as I could be. I tend to be loud, silly and immature at times. I could charm everyone I meet, but instead I choose to be myself and let them decide. I may not be the girl you had picked out for Zach, but I can tell you this: I love him with all of my heart. He is my best friend and I see all of the same greatness in him that you do. Isn't that a quality I have that is worth getting excited about?
To the 'you should have a wedding' crowd: We couldn't have a wedding even if we wanted to. The Air Force doesn't accomodate your wedding plans. He can get deployed at any time with as little as DAYS of notice. He can't apply for leave until a WEEK before it happens, and its not guaranteed that it will be approved. For me, this automatically says not to plan a big blowout wedding. Moving the wedding up was a mutual decision that we made for a few reasons: paperwork. We will have SO MUCH paperwork to file for the Air Force and for me that a week to do it would never been enough time. We will have a month to file all of our paperwork before I move down there instead of a week. We also have to find a house. And we need to have it BEFORE I move down there. We had talked about having a small ceremony with immediate family and then doing a dinner afterwards, but here is the issue with that: Why would we do that when his family can't even speak to each other? I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but do you realize how awkward that we be for all of us? With all of the hurt feelings and mean comments that get made CONSTANTLY, having just the immediate family is the worst idea I can come up with. My family would have to split up and take turns talking to his families just so they wouldn't have to talk. I'm not doing that. If you don't want to talk to each other, I COMPLETELY understand, but please don't stick us in the middle. That's what this would do.
To the 'you might regret not having a wedding later' people: No, I won't. We have been apart for so long now, that the only thing I can focus on and that's important to me is our marriage. Where we say our vows, how we are dressed, and who's there doesn't mean anything to me at this point. We could go to the biggest, dirtiest swamp with bugs and snakes and SPIDERS in ripped jeans and t-shirts and I would be just as thrilled that we were married then if we had a giant splendid, fancy, expensive wedding. I want to be able to call him my husband and know that from now on, we have forever to spend living our lives together and loving each other. You can not believe me and say that I won't regret it until later, but I'm telling you - I know my heart. And right now, it just wants Zach. No matter what the circumstance.
If you know Zach at all, you know that he loves me. This is what we want for each other. And the way we want to do things. It's not perfect - it's messy and busy...but I like to think of it as everything else in life. Life is messy and busy. I just wish that one person, one, would hug me and tell me that they're happy for me, despite the fact that they may not be happy with the way we want to do things. Marriage is not defined by your big fancy wedding or your huge ring....it's about what you put into it and what you expect to get out of it.
I have done what has been expected of me since November 23rd of 2009. It's my turn to do something the way I want to. If you have any inkling of how difficult it is to be a military girlfriend or spouse, you'd understand that Zach and I both deserve this.
For the most part, I feel like I am a very laid back person. I tend to go with the flow and take others opinions into consideration. Today, I am tired of being this way.
Since November 23rd of 2009, I have done what has been asked of me. I have waited patiently, supported, encouraged and embraced the life changing decision that my fiance made. Since November 23rd of 2009, I have spent exactly 35 days of my life with him. Trying to build a life with him through 900 miles and nothing but phone calls night after night. I have encouraged when I wanted to scream, been the strong one when I wanted to cry, pushed forward when I have wanted to give up. I have done what the Air Force has expected me to as the role of a significant other, I have done what I know Zach has wanted me to because of the commitment we have made to each other. I have done what school has asked of me, spending more time on homework than I ever wanted to; I have done what work has asked of me, working with selfish and ignorant individuals, when most of the time I wanted to tell them all they don't know how blessed they are with what they have been given.
I am a mere 44 days from flying to Florida and marrying the one person that I love most in this world. I am 77 days away from packing up my life and moving it 900 miles away from the family and friends I have known my entire life. I am happy with the choices I have made, the paths I have taken, and the opportunities I have passed up. I am so close to finally being with Zach again and I feel like no one is happy for us. No one. Even though I am sure that no one it pertains to will read this, I'm going to address some things I want to anyway.
To those who think we're too young: I have spent my life watching my parents marriage. It has been happy, fun and goofy. It has also been frustrating, irritating, and tough. It has been what most people would call marriage. If you think that we're getting married, expecting every day to be skipping through a meadow full of daisies, you're wrong. There are going to be times where I want to punch him, cry with him, yell at him, and love him. It is going to be messy and difficult and we are going to disagree on a LOT of things. He is going to be unromantic and inconsiderate at times. I am going to be depressing, lazy and downright bitchy at moments. We know this. We know that its not going to be easy; we aren't expecting it to be. And yes, I know half of you are saying in your head 'You don't know exactly how difficult it is going to be and you don't know all of the challenges you will face'. You're absolutely right. But that is the beautiful part. We have picked each other to experience those things with....to go through the tough times with, to cry with, to laugh with, and to love. To those who say "Why not wait a couple more years?" My answer is this: I am done with school. I have waited a year and half already. The time that we have missed, we don't get back. I don't want to waste any more of our time together waiting. Contrary to what most people think, we may not have forever. You never know.
To those who think that I am 'not good enough': I am 21 years old. I have a great career, and will have an awesome degree in 77 days. I am a hard worker. I am good with my finances and smart with my decisions. I have had guidance my whole life from 2 people who I would consider very successful. I don't sleep around, don't have any diseases. I like to have a drink now and then, but I am NOT a party-er. I tend to be lazy sometimes and sometimes I swear more than I should. I could stand to lose 30 pounds and I'm not as girly as I could be. I tend to be loud, silly and immature at times. I could charm everyone I meet, but instead I choose to be myself and let them decide. I may not be the girl you had picked out for Zach, but I can tell you this: I love him with all of my heart. He is my best friend and I see all of the same greatness in him that you do. Isn't that a quality I have that is worth getting excited about?
To the 'you should have a wedding' crowd: We couldn't have a wedding even if we wanted to. The Air Force doesn't accomodate your wedding plans. He can get deployed at any time with as little as DAYS of notice. He can't apply for leave until a WEEK before it happens, and its not guaranteed that it will be approved. For me, this automatically says not to plan a big blowout wedding. Moving the wedding up was a mutual decision that we made for a few reasons: paperwork. We will have SO MUCH paperwork to file for the Air Force and for me that a week to do it would never been enough time. We will have a month to file all of our paperwork before I move down there instead of a week. We also have to find a house. And we need to have it BEFORE I move down there. We had talked about having a small ceremony with immediate family and then doing a dinner afterwards, but here is the issue with that: Why would we do that when his family can't even speak to each other? I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but do you realize how awkward that we be for all of us? With all of the hurt feelings and mean comments that get made CONSTANTLY, having just the immediate family is the worst idea I can come up with. My family would have to split up and take turns talking to his families just so they wouldn't have to talk. I'm not doing that. If you don't want to talk to each other, I COMPLETELY understand, but please don't stick us in the middle. That's what this would do.
To the 'you might regret not having a wedding later' people: No, I won't. We have been apart for so long now, that the only thing I can focus on and that's important to me is our marriage. Where we say our vows, how we are dressed, and who's there doesn't mean anything to me at this point. We could go to the biggest, dirtiest swamp with bugs and snakes and SPIDERS in ripped jeans and t-shirts and I would be just as thrilled that we were married then if we had a giant splendid, fancy, expensive wedding. I want to be able to call him my husband and know that from now on, we have forever to spend living our lives together and loving each other. You can not believe me and say that I won't regret it until later, but I'm telling you - I know my heart. And right now, it just wants Zach. No matter what the circumstance.
If you know Zach at all, you know that he loves me. This is what we want for each other. And the way we want to do things. It's not perfect - it's messy and busy...but I like to think of it as everything else in life. Life is messy and busy. I just wish that one person, one, would hug me and tell me that they're happy for me, despite the fact that they may not be happy with the way we want to do things. Marriage is not defined by your big fancy wedding or your huge ring....it's about what you put into it and what you expect to get out of it.
I have done what has been expected of me since November 23rd of 2009. It's my turn to do something the way I want to. If you have any inkling of how difficult it is to be a military girlfriend or spouse, you'd understand that Zach and I both deserve this.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Will...
...I ever stop feeling miserable? This year has went so fast and I KNOW that I shouldn't be complaining at all. Zach was able to come home for Thanksgiving for about 12 days and that was some of the best 12 days of my life. I just feel so bad whenever he's gone. Things just don't feel right.
I always wondered in high school what it would be like when you found the right person. How you would feel...how they would feel...how it would be when you were together...I have never ever been able to completely be myself with any person I have dated, except for Zach. It's weird because I don't remember a time when Zach wasn't around. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and I don't remember what it was like not having him involved in my life. When we're apart, we can talk on the phone for hours, even if its about nothing or even if it's silence and we're both just watching TV. As soon as we're together again in person, it's like we were never apart at all. He is such a great person...sometimes I don't think he gives himself enough credit.
I'm ready for it to be May. I live with Kristen now and things are really good. I miss my family a little, but I'm actually not having too bad of a time living 'on my own'. I think me moving out early was the best for everyone. It'll get me ready for when I'm by myself in Florida, even if mom does hate it. If she doesn't understand right now, she will the first time Zach gets deployed. I need to learn not to need people so much...this is helping.
I was laying in bed last night thinking after I got off of the phone with Zach. Things were so easy before he left. We would see each other 5 or 6 days a week and get to go out and have fun whenever we wanted. When I found out he was actually going to the Air Force, I thought the whole world was over. I'll never forget the day we dropped him off at the recruiters station. I just knew that things with him and I weren't going to be the same and that the great thing we had was being ruined. I resented the Air Force for hogging him. I really hated the Air Force at that time, to be completely honest. I viewed it not for the good things it could do for us, but that it was taking Zach away. How selfish I was. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't see that the Air Force wasn't going to ruin the 'great thing we had' because it was more than just 'a great thing'. Being scared that the Air Force was going to ruin our relationship just shows the lack of faith I had in the both of us.
And now, one year and two months later, here we are. A little over 3 months away from being married. I don't have any resentment about the Air Force anymore. It's done a lot of great things for Zach...and for me. I have never been so proud of anyone, as I was of Zach at his graduation from basic training. The time we have had apart has made me realize how infinitely lucky I am to have the opportunity to share my life with such an awesome person. I have spent approximately 35 out of the 365 days of 2010 with Zach and because of our limited time together, each one of those days has been special for me. Before the Air Force, it would have been just 'any other day'.
330 days apart did not break me; neither will 101 days more. Deployments? Bring 'em on. <3 ____________________________
I know you see me Like some wide eyed dreamer
That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus
Yeah, on the outside
I look fragile
But on the inside is something you can’t crush
Cause I'm country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I'll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I have weathered
Colder winters; Longer summers
Without a drop of rain
Push me in a corner
And I’ll come out fighting
I may lose but I ‘ll always keep my faith
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I’m country strong
Yeah, I’m country strong
I always wondered in high school what it would be like when you found the right person. How you would feel...how they would feel...how it would be when you were together...I have never ever been able to completely be myself with any person I have dated, except for Zach. It's weird because I don't remember a time when Zach wasn't around. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and I don't remember what it was like not having him involved in my life. When we're apart, we can talk on the phone for hours, even if its about nothing or even if it's silence and we're both just watching TV. As soon as we're together again in person, it's like we were never apart at all. He is such a great person...sometimes I don't think he gives himself enough credit.
I'm ready for it to be May. I live with Kristen now and things are really good. I miss my family a little, but I'm actually not having too bad of a time living 'on my own'. I think me moving out early was the best for everyone. It'll get me ready for when I'm by myself in Florida, even if mom does hate it. If she doesn't understand right now, she will the first time Zach gets deployed. I need to learn not to need people so much...this is helping.
I was laying in bed last night thinking after I got off of the phone with Zach. Things were so easy before he left. We would see each other 5 or 6 days a week and get to go out and have fun whenever we wanted. When I found out he was actually going to the Air Force, I thought the whole world was over. I'll never forget the day we dropped him off at the recruiters station. I just knew that things with him and I weren't going to be the same and that the great thing we had was being ruined. I resented the Air Force for hogging him. I really hated the Air Force at that time, to be completely honest. I viewed it not for the good things it could do for us, but that it was taking Zach away. How selfish I was. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't see that the Air Force wasn't going to ruin the 'great thing we had' because it was more than just 'a great thing'. Being scared that the Air Force was going to ruin our relationship just shows the lack of faith I had in the both of us.
And now, one year and two months later, here we are. A little over 3 months away from being married. I don't have any resentment about the Air Force anymore. It's done a lot of great things for Zach...and for me. I have never been so proud of anyone, as I was of Zach at his graduation from basic training. The time we have had apart has made me realize how infinitely lucky I am to have the opportunity to share my life with such an awesome person. I have spent approximately 35 out of the 365 days of 2010 with Zach and because of our limited time together, each one of those days has been special for me. Before the Air Force, it would have been just 'any other day'.
330 days apart did not break me; neither will 101 days more. Deployments? Bring 'em on. <3 ____________________________
I know you see me Like some wide eyed dreamer
That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus
Yeah, on the outside
I look fragile
But on the inside is something you can’t crush
Cause I'm country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I'll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I have weathered
Colder winters; Longer summers
Without a drop of rain
Push me in a corner
And I’ll come out fighting
I may lose but I ‘ll always keep my faith
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
Cause I’m country strong
Hard to break
Like the ground I grew up on
You may fool me
And I’ll fall
But I won’t stay down long
Cause I’m country strong
I’m country strong
Yeah, I’m country strong
Friday, October 15, 2010
When..
...does karma catch up with people? Does it always catch up with them at the right time? Before they hurt someone else? Do people actually get their 'just desserts' for the bad things they do to others? In this case, I don't think so. My faith in karma has dwindled slightly.
What exactly is a friend? Is it someone that you hang out and have fun with? Or someone that you have a connection with and can be honest with when the time comes? I have always thought that a friend is a little bit of both. You have fun with them but you also can be honest with them. You watch out for them and for their best interest....even when they don't want to hear it and you know it could start a conflict.
When does a person stop being a friend? When they haven't hung out in awhile? Or when the words you speak to them fall upon deaf ears? When they don't recognize that the things you are telling them are not to hurt them but to prevent them from causing themselves serious consequences down the road?
My heart aches today for decisions that have been made. Ones that were made without consideration to any of the facts presented...Decisions that were made without acknowledging their friends words. I feel like I have lost that friend today.
Everyone's decisions are their own. Everyone is responsible for their own life. I wish I didn't care about people so much.
What exactly is a friend? Is it someone that you hang out and have fun with? Or someone that you have a connection with and can be honest with when the time comes? I have always thought that a friend is a little bit of both. You have fun with them but you also can be honest with them. You watch out for them and for their best interest....even when they don't want to hear it and you know it could start a conflict.
When does a person stop being a friend? When they haven't hung out in awhile? Or when the words you speak to them fall upon deaf ears? When they don't recognize that the things you are telling them are not to hurt them but to prevent them from causing themselves serious consequences down the road?
My heart aches today for decisions that have been made. Ones that were made without consideration to any of the facts presented...Decisions that were made without acknowledging their friends words. I feel like I have lost that friend today.
Everyone's decisions are their own. Everyone is responsible for their own life. I wish I didn't care about people so much.
Friday, January 1, 2010
An Unforgettable December
Hey guys! :)
So, I will definately say, the month of December flew by. It's absolutely incredible how fast it went. That's so awesome! Things here are going well. Three weeks from today I will be touring beautiful San Antonio with the most amazing young man I know. I cannot wait.
Zach is doing really well. Basic has gone fast for the both of us. The Holidays were hard on him, but other than missing everyone, he's doing great. So proud of him! I've received 4 letters and written so many, I lost count. :) This week is my last full week of winter break before I start classes again. January will definitely be a busy month....pulling a lot of hours at work and keeping up with my schoolwork. San Antonio will be a much needed breath of fresh air, even if it is for only 2 1/2 days. Allen came home on leave from AIT and it was definitely wonderful to see him. He's doing well also. Hopefully all of you are doing well, too.
Gotta cut this short. Working in the morning! :) More details later. Happy 2010!
Love,
Rachel
So, I will definately say, the month of December flew by. It's absolutely incredible how fast it went. That's so awesome! Things here are going well. Three weeks from today I will be touring beautiful San Antonio with the most amazing young man I know. I cannot wait.
Zach is doing really well. Basic has gone fast for the both of us. The Holidays were hard on him, but other than missing everyone, he's doing great. So proud of him! I've received 4 letters and written so many, I lost count. :) This week is my last full week of winter break before I start classes again. January will definitely be a busy month....pulling a lot of hours at work and keeping up with my schoolwork. San Antonio will be a much needed breath of fresh air, even if it is for only 2 1/2 days. Allen came home on leave from AIT and it was definitely wonderful to see him. He's doing well also. Hopefully all of you are doing well, too.
Gotta cut this short. Working in the morning! :) More details later. Happy 2010!
Love,
Rachel
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A November to Remember
So, a lot has happened since my last blog.
Zach has officially left for boot camp as of Sunday, and to say that I'm crashing and burning is an uber understatement. At least when Mindy leaves for school we can call and text and chat. I don't even get that. I guess the thing I wonder about the most is this: I wonder if he's been thinking about me as much as I have of him. I try to keep busy during the day, to keep my mind off of things and nothing seems to help. This year has went so fast and for some reason I have this scary feeling that the next two months are going to drag by. I remember having that with Joel. He'd leave and it would take foreverrrrr for him to get back here...at least it seemed so. I hated it then and I hate it even more now. I know he's not off having fun or checking out other girls, but not having Zach around sucks. I should probably get used to it, since the entire next four years will consist of almost no Zach compared to what our relationship has been like thus far. I guess the easy way out would be to break up and start dating some guy from school, but I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. Funny how that works, isn't it? I guess I shouldn't complain since it's day 5 of 61 already, but it might as well be day 1 again with how slow it has went. I hate sitting around and waiting...but honestly there's nothing else I can do. At least I know he's safe and not overseas. I'm proud of him and I'm glad he's doing this...I shouldn't complain so much. I guess I've just been spoiled in our relationship with seeing him all of the time. So maybe if we can get through the next few months to a year, that will say a lot about where we are. I hope so at least.
Hope things are better on your end. Mine will be soon....when January 22nd gets here!!
Zach has officially left for boot camp as of Sunday, and to say that I'm crashing and burning is an uber understatement. At least when Mindy leaves for school we can call and text and chat. I don't even get that. I guess the thing I wonder about the most is this: I wonder if he's been thinking about me as much as I have of him. I try to keep busy during the day, to keep my mind off of things and nothing seems to help. This year has went so fast and for some reason I have this scary feeling that the next two months are going to drag by. I remember having that with Joel. He'd leave and it would take foreverrrrr for him to get back here...at least it seemed so. I hated it then and I hate it even more now. I know he's not off having fun or checking out other girls, but not having Zach around sucks. I should probably get used to it, since the entire next four years will consist of almost no Zach compared to what our relationship has been like thus far. I guess the easy way out would be to break up and start dating some guy from school, but I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. Funny how that works, isn't it? I guess I shouldn't complain since it's day 5 of 61 already, but it might as well be day 1 again with how slow it has went. I hate sitting around and waiting...but honestly there's nothing else I can do. At least I know he's safe and not overseas. I'm proud of him and I'm glad he's doing this...I shouldn't complain so much. I guess I've just been spoiled in our relationship with seeing him all of the time. So maybe if we can get through the next few months to a year, that will say a lot about where we are. I hope so at least.
Hope things are better on your end. Mine will be soon....when January 22nd gets here!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)